Aggression from senile cat. Help!

[sherrylynne]

Part of the reason Bonkers is that he's been so unhappy for over a year now. Ever since he lost his best friend. Part is his senility. It's only going to get worse, not better. And part is how much he stresses so much over every little change.
If I have to pill him for anything, he quits eating. I mean to the point where I have to force feed for at least a week. The car makes him crazy, the carrier stresses him, the vet stresses him. If it is hyper-T, he'll have to go in several times until levels are balanced, and even if he was treated for that, there's still that mass. Either way, I just want him to go with some dignity left intact. Not peeing himself constantly, and shaking because he's so scared.
Believe me, this isn't an easy decision. We've had him since he was 6 weeks old. I've watched him become more and more depressed with the loss of each and every one of our animals he considered his friends over the last 4 years. Both huskies(who he considered his moms), his only kitty buddy 2 years ago, and then our pit bull a year ago May. She was his best friend of all of them. When that happened, it's like the life went out of him. Yes, he cuddled with one of our other cats off and on. More off than on. And then he decided he didn't trust Herne any more, and started attacking him, too. So now, none of the other animals will come anywhere near him, and he's so lonely. The Bach's has helped a bit, but I've had to increase it now to 18 drops a day for him. The feliway helped a bit before, but not much.
Hubby and I talked about it, and it has actually come to the point where I'm keeping him here for me, not for him.
Bella, I can talk to the vet about house calls. We actually had one come in several years ago to help one of our dogs cross who'd had a stroke. It certainly can't hurt to ask.

[bella]

Sherrylynne - my heart goes out to you.  It is absolutey heart-wrenching when faced with making this decision. Only you and your husband know your beloved pet, and though it's one of lifes hardest, it is one made with great thought,love and respect.  I wish you all peace and comfort.  Bella

[Bonkers]

Sherrylynne, How are you and Mr. Stubbs doing???

[coontuffy]

Sherrylynne, prayers coming to you for calm and peace for Mr. Stubbs and the other members of the household.

[sherrylynne]

Hi. Sorry I haven't been back on for a bit. Business has picked up, and I've been busier!
Mr. Stubbs appears to be a bit more senile than before. More wandering and crying. More aggression toward the others. We have to shut him in a room to get him to eat his food now. I spoke to the vet about him, and they understand why I'm not testing him. If/when he gets to a point where he's having difficulty/pain, they'll give me some sedation for him so the vet trip isn't as stressful for him. Until then, he's relatively comfortable, gets outside whenever possible, and lots of attention.

[coontuffy]

Yay sherrylynne, wonderful to hear that you are busy and business has picked up!!!

sherrylynne, have you ever tested Mr. Stubbs for Feline Bartonella henselae?
I know the poor doll gets so stressed with a vet visit.....it's a blood test for B henselae.

[sherrylynne]

I honestly have no idea if that was included in the bloodwork or not. I've never even heard of it before. I just googled it though, and it says it's transmitted by cat fleas(?). We've never had an outbreak of them here(too high an altitude, and too cold in the winter for them to survive), nor does he have the swollen lymph nodes, or the fever.
When I had him in last, he checked out fine for his age.
What else is this b henselae about? And what does it do?